So thoughtful as always, Ajmal; I've missed your reflections.
We can spend years desperately wanting safety and then, once we finally have it, mistake the resulting boredom for evidence that something is wrong. In my case, I abandoned safety for adventure, and sometimes crave that boredom.
I really liked the “retirement from uncertainty” idea as a framing device.
Thank you, Chloe. I wanted to tap into why we sometimes move toward a routine we ultimately have no interest in, and more often than not, it’s because we’re running from a chaotic past, too much adventure, or something similar. We never really stop to understand what it means to build a routine that actually feels purposeful.
Aside from that, I missed seeing you on here. I hope to see you around more. Wishing you all the best, and I’m always grateful to have you as a reader. 🤍🙏
I kid you not I just escaped a phase of my life where I was trying to give my boredom some kind of meaning, because everyday looked somewhat the same and most days ended in me feeling like I was stuck in some sort of a limbo. I understand this article all too well and thankfully I have somewhat successfully gotten myself out of that limbo, so reading this felt like recounting my accomplishments!
SOO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT! That’s really rewarding because I always prefer when a reader feels like they’re somewhere in the middle or near the end of the problem, rather than right at the beginning, although that isn’t always the case.
I’m happy to hear you’re not stuck in that limbo anymore and that your days feel more meaningful and direct. I hope you continue on that journey and that it leads you toward a purposeful life full of direction.
Sending you nothing but the best wishes, Harshini! 🙏🤍
Thank you, Lauren. “Comforting” has been the word people keep using, and I’m really grateful I could hold your hand through this one. I write for you and the other readers who are ready for a little guided short-story reflection. ✨🫶
Great post Ajmal. I know all too well that feeling of boredom you wrote about. For a long time I believed the next change would solve the problem, then I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. I have come to understand that neither of those things are true, it is just the nature of life. And, that boredom allows us to look much more deeply into ourselves and life. There is actually a tremendous amount happening under what appears to be the stillness of boredom. It’s in the looking deeper that we find our purpose and find meaning in the mundane.
What it got me thinking was first, the familiarity, I know so well the boredom, with - is this what I wanted? And really it was just me giving myself the safety i was craving. But when that is established you no longer need to look inside the circle, you can expand your gaze out, where the question of purpose/meaning comes along. And that is our own to fill, as you explained here. Which probably is when the “letter” arrives.
And second, what if we could enjoy the pleasure in boredom, if we can find it in suffering we can for sure find it in here. As what if all the distractions that boredom makes us look for, is just for that - not to answer that empty line of meaning. Because the answer is ours, so we could fill it at any time, if we dare. So if we know that, maybe let’s bathe in the boredom like it’s a rejuvenating bath… i guess that’s when as you said the boredom becomes irrelevant, as the bigger goal is what takes the lead.
So with all this, what I’m taking form it is that next time boredom comes, I will bathe in it and see what’s the answer behind it. 🫶
This was such a lovely comment to read Mailiis, thank you for taking the piece somewhere even deeper than I did. I especially love your idea of “bathing” in boredom instead of immediately trying to escape it; there’s something beautiful about trusting that stillness long enough to see what it might be trying to show us. 🙌
And I think you’re exactly right about safety too: once the circle feels secure, maybe we finally have enough space to look beyond it and ask what we actually want all of this life to be for. Your reflection genuinely added something to the piece for me, and I’m really grateful you shared it. You made my day!! 🤍🙏
This time, I must say I was feeling like I stumbled into a different section of you posts which was made for 70 years old people.
As a daughter of such, I can say there’s a wide range of how people of that age go along.
One I know got a car and when sunshine they’ll go for a walk in a beautiful landscape, another is always complaining about what they cannot do and what they have to do, making it weird to try and choose a place for me at first, until I saw the whole picture of my own soul.
Now that I understand my own roots and learned to treat thought loops like a roller-coaster which has a closing time, I can choose how to feel. No more forcing myself to listen to the bad news after midnight.
Hahah, I love that it felt like I wandered into the 70+ section 😂
I think the most beautiful part is that you’ve reached a place where you can recognize what belongs to you and what doesn’t deserve to keep running after midnight. That kind of self-understanding is freedom, Daniela. 🙏🤍
I was reflecting myself recently on how so many new and exciting projects I do actually require a lot of “boring” days behind them. Taking a trip means budgeting, planning, getting tickets; learning a new language is doing lots of homework, practice, and memorisation; starting a substack is many days spent writing and finding ways to articulate my thoughts; becoming more fit is a routine of meal prepping and exercising, and so on. These are all super inspiring and fun, but I find the “boring” days of lots of repetition and practice just as fun because they have the purpose and dedication behind them, even if from the outside it looks like just doing the same thing over and over.
It is indeed very different from having a routine and stability for the sake of it. I had a period in my life when I had achieved the things I have strived for and couldn’t yet conceptualise that I want to do something next, and I fell into a routine like that. Where I would go to the same places, see the same people, do the same things, and it was fun for a while but it eventually creates a restlessness. I started asking myself, “is this all that my life is now, forever? I have found my balance and routine and that’s it?”
Luckily I got out of that early “retirement” and found purpose in many things, which still take lots of repetition, but having the knowledge that it’s for a reason and feeling of progress makes it all make sense. :)
I love how you put this because that’s exactly the distinction I was trying to make. The “boring” parts don’t actually feel boring when they’re attached to something you care about. Repetition feels completely different when you can see what it’s building toward.
And that early retirement feeling is so real. Once you finally create the stability you wanted, it can be strange realizing that stability itself doesn’t automatically give you a reason to wake up excited. I’m glad you found your way out of that too. :)
Thank you for reading and sharing so much of your own experience with it, Leyla. Truly grateful!! 🤍✨
Wow. This one sucked me in instantly. Sometimes life does feel like I requested an early retirement. I’m happy to say that I’m more like the person by the window now, but a while back I would’ve identified with the main voice. Great work!
Thank you, Marlin. We certainly jump between early retirement and chaos, so I think returning to the middle ground is part of the journey, not somewhere we’ll remain at all times in our lives. 🙏🤍
Thank you, June. This is the type of comment that makes me want to keep writing more and more pieces like this. I truly am grateful for you reading!! 😊🫶🏻
This is such a beautiful read and I’m here thinking of every time have craved stability and gotten it and moved away to find a chaos to get myself into the next phase. Then I’ve forgotten what it use to be.
this really stuck with me. there’s something weird about finally getting the stability you used to pray for, and then realizing you’ve gotten so good at being safe that you kind of forget how to want things again! the bit about repeating because you know what happens next vs repeating because you know what you’re trying to get to really got me.. I've been thinking about it since I read. I think routine was never meant to be where we stop, just the ground we stand on before we decide where we’re actually going :(
and that empty box at the end “purpose of retirement” god. maybe after spending so much of our lives just figuring out how to survive, we eventually have to sit with the harder question of what all that surviving is actually for. “maybe it’s time to give the plan a reason” i'm keeping that line close❤️
Thank you so much. I think you understood exactly what I was trying to get at. Stability can become such a beautiful accomplishment that we forget it was supposed to give us somewhere to stand, not somewhere to stop.
And yes, that question of what all the surviving was for is the harder one. Once life becomes safe enough, purpose has nowhere left to hide. I’m really glad that line stayed with you. 🤍🙏
Thank you for always reading so closely last draft! <333
Another memorable essay, Ajmal! I appreciate that you never diminish the importance of the safety and stability we sometimes need to build. Something can be exactly what we needed in one chapter without needing to define every chapter that follows. And perhaps one of the gifts of finally reaching solid ground is that we become free to ask a different question: what do we want this stability to make possible?
Exactly, exactly, exactly. You pulled the core thesis right out of my words. Thank you, Meg!!
Stability is the launching ground for what we want our lives to become, not the end of the journey or the final goalpost. We forget that when we’ve spent so much of our lives idealizing it.
Always writing extremely well and poetically! Loved all the little lines of wisdom you sprinkled into this lovely fable hehe :D It's an interesting argument you make, that the key to a good life isn't retiring or ending work and being stable, but to find something that calls after ur attention every day and inspires you to wake up and show up. A purpose. A mission. I love how you captured that in this piece, especially with your distinction between repetition vs. being on the mission, and how -- while they look about the same on the outside -- they sure don't on the inside.
Keep writing man! I genuinely enjoyed this. It was fun, inspiring, and a great read to end the night. Bless your heart :D
Thank you, Ethan. I’m really grateful that you read it, brother. I think that’s exactly it, right? They look so similar from the outside, but the internal process is completely different. One receives energy from their routine, while the other is depleted by the end of it and asks, “What now?”
I think this is what we often get caught up in with life: abstract ideals without taking into consideration what they actually mean. Stability with work, family, love, our bodies, whatever you name it, can be good, but sometimes for all the wrong reasons and without the intention to truly own it.
Once we get this right, I think we get a lot more right alongside it. So happy I could end off your day with this read. Much love! 🤍🙏
Thank you, Rubi. I always want to get as close as possible to the harsh truths of reality without making it feel like the sky is falling. I’m really grateful that you felt that with this piece! 🤍🙏
So thoughtful as always, Ajmal; I've missed your reflections.
We can spend years desperately wanting safety and then, once we finally have it, mistake the resulting boredom for evidence that something is wrong. In my case, I abandoned safety for adventure, and sometimes crave that boredom.
I really liked the “retirement from uncertainty” idea as a framing device.
As always, you write so intelligently.
Bisous,
Chloe
Thank you, Chloe. I wanted to tap into why we sometimes move toward a routine we ultimately have no interest in, and more often than not, it’s because we’re running from a chaotic past, too much adventure, or something similar. We never really stop to understand what it means to build a routine that actually feels purposeful.
Aside from that, I missed seeing you on here. I hope to see you around more. Wishing you all the best, and I’m always grateful to have you as a reader. 🤍🙏
I kid you not I just escaped a phase of my life where I was trying to give my boredom some kind of meaning, because everyday looked somewhat the same and most days ended in me feeling like I was stuck in some sort of a limbo. I understand this article all too well and thankfully I have somewhat successfully gotten myself out of that limbo, so reading this felt like recounting my accomplishments!
SOO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT! That’s really rewarding because I always prefer when a reader feels like they’re somewhere in the middle or near the end of the problem, rather than right at the beginning, although that isn’t always the case.
I’m happy to hear you’re not stuck in that limbo anymore and that your days feel more meaningful and direct. I hope you continue on that journey and that it leads you toward a purposeful life full of direction.
Sending you nothing but the best wishes, Harshini! 🙏🤍
this is so comforting, i love it!!! your writing is lovely 🫶
Thank you, Lauren. “Comforting” has been the word people keep using, and I’m really grateful I could hold your hand through this one. I write for you and the other readers who are ready for a little guided short-story reflection. ✨🫶
Great post Ajmal. I know all too well that feeling of boredom you wrote about. For a long time I believed the next change would solve the problem, then I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. I have come to understand that neither of those things are true, it is just the nature of life. And, that boredom allows us to look much more deeply into ourselves and life. There is actually a tremendous amount happening under what appears to be the stillness of boredom. It’s in the looking deeper that we find our purpose and find meaning in the mundane.
This is so yummi. You’re so good.
What it got me thinking was first, the familiarity, I know so well the boredom, with - is this what I wanted? And really it was just me giving myself the safety i was craving. But when that is established you no longer need to look inside the circle, you can expand your gaze out, where the question of purpose/meaning comes along. And that is our own to fill, as you explained here. Which probably is when the “letter” arrives.
And second, what if we could enjoy the pleasure in boredom, if we can find it in suffering we can for sure find it in here. As what if all the distractions that boredom makes us look for, is just for that - not to answer that empty line of meaning. Because the answer is ours, so we could fill it at any time, if we dare. So if we know that, maybe let’s bathe in the boredom like it’s a rejuvenating bath… i guess that’s when as you said the boredom becomes irrelevant, as the bigger goal is what takes the lead.
So with all this, what I’m taking form it is that next time boredom comes, I will bathe in it and see what’s the answer behind it. 🫶
This was such a lovely comment to read Mailiis, thank you for taking the piece somewhere even deeper than I did. I especially love your idea of “bathing” in boredom instead of immediately trying to escape it; there’s something beautiful about trusting that stillness long enough to see what it might be trying to show us. 🙌
And I think you’re exactly right about safety too: once the circle feels secure, maybe we finally have enough space to look beyond it and ask what we actually want all of this life to be for. Your reflection genuinely added something to the piece for me, and I’m really grateful you shared it. You made my day!! 🤍🙏
Oh, you’re so sweet 🥹 thank you and I’m glad I could offer something back for you as well 🙏
😊🤍
This time, I must say I was feeling like I stumbled into a different section of you posts which was made for 70 years old people.
As a daughter of such, I can say there’s a wide range of how people of that age go along.
One I know got a car and when sunshine they’ll go for a walk in a beautiful landscape, another is always complaining about what they cannot do and what they have to do, making it weird to try and choose a place for me at first, until I saw the whole picture of my own soul.
Now that I understand my own roots and learned to treat thought loops like a roller-coaster which has a closing time, I can choose how to feel. No more forcing myself to listen to the bad news after midnight.
Hahah, I love that it felt like I wandered into the 70+ section 😂
I think the most beautiful part is that you’ve reached a place where you can recognize what belongs to you and what doesn’t deserve to keep running after midnight. That kind of self-understanding is freedom, Daniela. 🙏🤍
Loved the parallel!!
Thank you Sanaa :)
Loved the parallel!!
🫶🏻🫶🏻
Oh wow, I loved this.
I was reflecting myself recently on how so many new and exciting projects I do actually require a lot of “boring” days behind them. Taking a trip means budgeting, planning, getting tickets; learning a new language is doing lots of homework, practice, and memorisation; starting a substack is many days spent writing and finding ways to articulate my thoughts; becoming more fit is a routine of meal prepping and exercising, and so on. These are all super inspiring and fun, but I find the “boring” days of lots of repetition and practice just as fun because they have the purpose and dedication behind them, even if from the outside it looks like just doing the same thing over and over.
It is indeed very different from having a routine and stability for the sake of it. I had a period in my life when I had achieved the things I have strived for and couldn’t yet conceptualise that I want to do something next, and I fell into a routine like that. Where I would go to the same places, see the same people, do the same things, and it was fun for a while but it eventually creates a restlessness. I started asking myself, “is this all that my life is now, forever? I have found my balance and routine and that’s it?”
Luckily I got out of that early “retirement” and found purpose in many things, which still take lots of repetition, but having the knowledge that it’s for a reason and feeling of progress makes it all make sense. :)
Thank you for sharing!
I love how you put this because that’s exactly the distinction I was trying to make. The “boring” parts don’t actually feel boring when they’re attached to something you care about. Repetition feels completely different when you can see what it’s building toward.
And that early retirement feeling is so real. Once you finally create the stability you wanted, it can be strange realizing that stability itself doesn’t automatically give you a reason to wake up excited. I’m glad you found your way out of that too. :)
Thank you for reading and sharing so much of your own experience with it, Leyla. Truly grateful!! 🤍✨
Wow. This one sucked me in instantly. Sometimes life does feel like I requested an early retirement. I’m happy to say that I’m more like the person by the window now, but a while back I would’ve identified with the main voice. Great work!
Thank you, Marlin. We certainly jump between early retirement and chaos, so I think returning to the middle ground is part of the journey, not somewhere we’ll remain at all times in our lives. 🙏🤍
one of the best pieces I've read here, I am so glad this found me!
Thank you, June. This is the type of comment that makes me want to keep writing more and more pieces like this. I truly am grateful for you reading!! 😊🫶🏻
This is such a beautiful read and I’m here thinking of every time have craved stability and gotten it and moved away to find a chaos to get myself into the next phase. Then I’ve forgotten what it use to be.
It’s a cycle a lot of us face, and I think it’s really about becoming more goal-oriented rather than simply building a stable system. ✨🫶
this really stuck with me. there’s something weird about finally getting the stability you used to pray for, and then realizing you’ve gotten so good at being safe that you kind of forget how to want things again! the bit about repeating because you know what happens next vs repeating because you know what you’re trying to get to really got me.. I've been thinking about it since I read. I think routine was never meant to be where we stop, just the ground we stand on before we decide where we’re actually going :(
and that empty box at the end “purpose of retirement” god. maybe after spending so much of our lives just figuring out how to survive, we eventually have to sit with the harder question of what all that surviving is actually for. “maybe it’s time to give the plan a reason” i'm keeping that line close❤️
Thank you so much. I think you understood exactly what I was trying to get at. Stability can become such a beautiful accomplishment that we forget it was supposed to give us somewhere to stand, not somewhere to stop.
And yes, that question of what all the surviving was for is the harder one. Once life becomes safe enough, purpose has nowhere left to hide. I’m really glad that line stayed with you. 🤍🙏
Thank you for always reading so closely last draft! <333
Another memorable essay, Ajmal! I appreciate that you never diminish the importance of the safety and stability we sometimes need to build. Something can be exactly what we needed in one chapter without needing to define every chapter that follows. And perhaps one of the gifts of finally reaching solid ground is that we become free to ask a different question: what do we want this stability to make possible?
Exactly, exactly, exactly. You pulled the core thesis right out of my words. Thank you, Meg!!
Stability is the launching ground for what we want our lives to become, not the end of the journey or the final goalpost. We forget that when we’ve spent so much of our lives idealizing it.
Grateful to have you here. 😊🤍
Always writing extremely well and poetically! Loved all the little lines of wisdom you sprinkled into this lovely fable hehe :D It's an interesting argument you make, that the key to a good life isn't retiring or ending work and being stable, but to find something that calls after ur attention every day and inspires you to wake up and show up. A purpose. A mission. I love how you captured that in this piece, especially with your distinction between repetition vs. being on the mission, and how -- while they look about the same on the outside -- they sure don't on the inside.
Keep writing man! I genuinely enjoyed this. It was fun, inspiring, and a great read to end the night. Bless your heart :D
Thank you, Ethan. I’m really grateful that you read it, brother. I think that’s exactly it, right? They look so similar from the outside, but the internal process is completely different. One receives energy from their routine, while the other is depleted by the end of it and asks, “What now?”
I think this is what we often get caught up in with life: abstract ideals without taking into consideration what they actually mean. Stability with work, family, love, our bodies, whatever you name it, can be good, but sometimes for all the wrong reasons and without the intention to truly own it.
Once we get this right, I think we get a lot more right alongside it. So happy I could end off your day with this read. Much love! 🤍🙏
I loved that this was so encouraging yet so eye opening, thank you for sharing it with us!
Thank you, Rubi. I always want to get as close as possible to the harsh truths of reality without making it feel like the sky is falling. I’m really grateful that you felt that with this piece! 🤍🙏